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Thom Dunn is a Boston-based writer, musician, and utterly terrible dancer. He is the singer/guitarist for the indie rock/power-pop the Roland High Life, as well as a staff writer for the New York Times’ Wirecutter and a regular contributor at BoingBoing.net. Thom enjoys Oxford commas, metaphysics, and romantic clichés (especially when they involve whiskey), and he firmly believes that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is the single greatest atrocity committed against mankind. He is a graduate of Clarion Writer's Workshop at UCSD ('13) & Emerson College ('08).

The Art of Rock N Roll

Many people overlook the nuanced art of rock n roll, both within the songs*, and within the performance itself. Consider then: the set list. A good set list (or track listing**, for that matter) is a thing of beauty, complete with its own narrative arc of musical peaks and valleys that carry the audience through a complete cathartic hour-long rock n roll experience. But I realize that it's an art form that not many have mastered. And so this week on Five by Five Hundred, I've offered my assistance in a very public format. So you're welcome, Aspiring Rock Stars. Go forth, and make rock!

"Set List For A Washed Up Rock N Roll Band" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

*Perhaps another day I shall blog at length about the importance of the narrative arc in song arrangements as well, in which case I'll be mostly using Weezer's Blue Album as a perfect example.

**Foo Fighters' "The Colours & the Shapes" has the best non-concept album track listing ever. I'll fight you on it.

The Voice Of Our Generation

So, okay. Lena Dunham. That's all the Internet talks about anymore. And mostly for stupid reasons. GIRLS is an enjoyable show. Sure, it's got its flaws, but it always has some realistic depictions of a very particular group of people, all of whom I went to college with. But most of the debate around the show is -- in my humble opinion -- around all of the wrong issues (read: misogyny towards chubby exhibitionists). Let's face it, Lena Dunham is hardly the first privileged white kid to leverage Mom & Dad's wealth and success into her own career. I probably would have done the same thing, if I ever had the opportunity. And then there's Thought Catalog. I have plenty of friends who frequently for Thought Catalog, and almost every time I read something on that website (besides stuff by friends, obviously, because the whole point of this is that we're all hypocrites) I find myself consumed by anger towards the whiney narcissism of my generation. Every post is all trying to be deep and profound and whoa I made this brilliant realizations about being 22 now that I'm older and wiser at 24 and shut up.

Except that every time I read Thought Catalog, I'm like "Man, I totally get this. This is totally spot on." Which is probably why I'm so angry at it -- because it, like GIRLS, is totally cliched, and reminds us all of how cliched we are ourselves.

So, long story longer, this week's Five By Five Hundred post is all about that, except in some wacky stream-of-consciousness kind of a way (I mean, more than what I just wrote) because I have weird brain things.

(Also it now holds the record for our most popular post on 5x500! So, ya know, that's cool)

"A Catalog Of Thoughts; Or, Sorry Lena Dunham, But Our Generation Already Has A Voice" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

The End

Okay, so clearly I've been working on lots of larger writing pieces, which has gotten in the way of my standard Five By Five Hundred writing. But hey, writing is writing, so here's another short excerpt from a piece I've been working, only this one is the very end of the story. So, ya know. Spoilers, sweetie.

"The End of The Story" on Five By Five Hundred

Quantum Fiction!

Here's a little excerpt from a story I've been working on in a few different mediums (I've shared a few other snippets, too, if you'd like to piece them together and figure it out...). It's science-y and physics-y and all timey-wimey, but hopefully it's at least a little bit enjoyable on its own!

"Quantum Physiology, or The Origins of Nonlinear Molecular Teleportation" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Who Is That Masked Man Anyway?

I have a new superhero identity. I'm not really sure what my powers are, or if they'd be any use in a fight, but that doesn't matter. I've now experienced the quintessential Spider-Man-esque (RIP) traumatic formative moment, and there is no turning back.

Today on Five By Five Hundred, I reveal my deep secret, the true origin story of my new superheroic identity: Regular Wednesday Comic Book Buyer Guy. A true hero for the modern age.

Read ahead, if you can handle it.

"Origin Story" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Ghosts of Boston

Here's a little excerpt from a larger piece of fiction I've been working on, posted over at Five By Five Hundred. It's completely out of context, but that's okay; I think it works alright on it's own.

"Back On The Streets" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Athbhliain Faoi Mhaise Dhaoibh!

(that's "Happy New Years" in Irish, 'natch)

It's a busy end to the Holiday Season, with back-to-back-to-back celebrations, but here's a quick update on some things. First, a little New Years poem I wrote over at Five By Five Hundred about 2012's significant lack of jetpacks. I also wrote a little blog / essay about my brain as a writer entitled "Less Talk, More Rock" for the Boston One Minute Play Festival, which is this coming weekend, January 5-7, at Boston Playwrights Theatre, and features two short plays that I wrote. I have very specifically avoided rehearsals, so I'm excited to see what's going to come out of the little bits of text I wrote. If you're interested but unavailable to make it to the show, the 8pm performance on Sunday, January 6 will be streamed live on HowlRound's NewPlay TV, so you can watch the whole thing from the comfort of your laptop.

That's all for now; see you in The Future!

Merry Christmas (Eve)!

I figure must people are busy spending time with their families (as they should be!), so here's a quick update for you to enjoy while you're in the bathroom or waiting for family to arrive or whatever. First, over on Five By Five Hundred, I whipped up a brief little parody piece after one of my own family's favorite traditions that I think everyone can enjoy -- "'Twas The Night Before Christmas Break."

And then there's this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDheBMWy7Ic]

You're welcome. Merry Christmas! (and equivalent non-Christian holiday greetings, of course)

Holiday Special

Today on Five By Five Hundred, I decided to kick off our celebration and excitement for the upcoming holiday season. No, not Christmas; I mean the end of the world! With only 12 days left until the supposed Mayan Apocalypse / World Shift / New Age / Another Boring Saturday Where Nothing Significant Actually Happens Or Changes, I decided to tweak one of your perennial holiday favorites and update it for the times. Enjoy!

"The 12 Days Of Apocalypse" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

ALSO! In case you don't already follow the rest of the daily exploits on 5x500 without me telling you (for some bizarre reason I don't know why you wouldn't), we are currently taking submissions for a new weekly contributor to join us on Sundays! Follow link to learn all about the necessary submission information in handy haiku form. All we ask is that you post a new something every Sunday in keeping with the theme of the website. "What's the theme of the website?" you ask, like some fool who hasn't even been paying attention. "Glad you asked!" I respond through gritted teeth. I pause for a moment as I hiss in my breath and explain that the only criteria is that must write something and that it must be under 500 words. Poetry, prose, scripts, rants, memoirs, serial fiction, serial murders -- whatever, it doesn't matter, just as long as it's under 500 words. Simple enough, right?

If you think you have what it takes, check out our submission guidelines. We look forward to hearing from you!

Tomorrow We Vote For Our Lovers

Because everyone's obviously feeling inundated and overwhelmed with all of the political commentary consuming the Internet, I decided this week to give everyone a break, and write something quick and simple about love and romance for Five By Five Hundred instead. Just kidding. It's a metaphor, fool.

"New Girlfriend" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

One Minute Play Festival!

This year, I had the honor of being asked to contribute two plays to the annual One Minute Play Festival, and I have to say, writing a one minute play is a much bigger challenge than you'd expect it to be. The festival hits the stage in January, and I'll share information about the performances when I have it. In the meantime, I posted one of the plays as my weekly post over at Five By Five Hundred, so you can check it out there. Generally speaking, these plays are meant to be open-ended vehicles for the director, more than a chance for the writer to show his stuff, but I'm pretty happy with the way these turned out.

"The Call" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Awake

I'm sure I'll go back and post my specific feelings about this at length, but my friend Scotty passed away this weekend. For now, instead of getting into the emotional stuff, I shared one of my favorite memories of my Scotty over on Five By Five Hundred, because frankly, it was the only thing I was capable of thinking of. Rest in peace, brother.

"Scotty, Or That Time I Wasn't 21" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Another Oldie But A Goodie (angsty?)

Not much time to write again today*, after a busy weekend at New York Comic Con that didn't get me back to Boston until midnight, so here's a re-post of an old poem/song I wrote in...I think 2005. Looking back, it's definitely the product of a 19-year-old, but don't think it was necessarily awful, as far as the poetry of 19-year-old Liberal Arts students is concerned. Check back next week for something new!

"Atlantic Avenue" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

*not that I haven't been writing anything at all in the last week, which I have actually quite a lot, but nothing that would be appropriate for 5x500 in either form or content. more articles and/or long form works-in-progress.

Nonlinear Romance

Today over at Five By Five Hundred, I've included a brief excerpt from a short story & play I'm working on about love and time travel, and an endlessly cyclical relationship where both parties start at different times. (and then of course as I type that I think "ah shit, now everyone's gonna think I'm ripping off of River Song and The Doctor, or I'm trying to re-write The Time Traveler's Wife. Oh well). There  might be more from the story next week; or, I might do something entirely different. Who knows! (answer: you do, if you're a time traveler)

"When We First Met (excerpt)" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Greatest Time Signature EVER!

My newest piece is now live  on Five By Five Hundred, a playful little poem about my favorite musical time signature. All you math and music nerds out there should have some fun seeking out all the little patterns that are hidden in this one, just like a good song...

"I Wish I Lived In 5/4 Time" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Five By Five Hundred: Back In Action

After a brief summer hiatus for some professional and mental recuperation, Five By Five Hundred is now officially back in action! For those of you who somehow managed to find your way here and yet still have no idea what I'm talking about, Five By Five Hundred is a website started by back in April of 2009 by me and my good friend Brian McGackin (of Broetry fame), inspired by an idea from the Internet Jesus Warren Ellis. The website originally featured 5 writers, each of whom composed poetry/prose/whatever consisting of no more than 500 words on his/her assigned day of the week (hence, 5 writers x 5 days a week x 500 words = 5x500 = totally bad pun on Faith Lehane's catchphrase). The website has gone through a number of writers, with Brian and I remaining consistent since the beginning, and has now expanded to include new posts on Saturdays and Sundays as well (which, with 7 writers, technically screws up the whole 5x500 pattern thingie, but oh well). Anyway, now that you're all caught up, you can go check out my latest post over there, an oldie but a goodie titled Dad's Diaries (and you can listen to it here, too!)

"Dad's Diaries" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Quite Possibly The Greatest Ever Thing Known To Man

Clothes Make the Fan

This has often been on my mind, but the specific inspiration for this piece goes back to the preview screening of THE AVENGERS that I attended. Naturally, there were a lot of people in the audience wearing comic book t-shirts. Because it was a preview screening for an epic comic book movie, and comic book fans (unsurprisingly) enjoy comic book movies (although I suppose "enjoy" can be argued...) and are also the type of people who would seek out passes for a preview screening and stand in line for 2 hours just for a chance to see the movie 3 days before its release. You know. People like me.

But in any large gathering of comic book fans (more than most other subcultures), I tend to notice a lot of awkward compliments. Kid in the Fantastic Four t-shirt sees kid in the Spider-Man t-shirt while we're all waiting in line to go to the bathroom, and of course, he has to go up to him and say "Hey. Cool shirt," as if he's somehow surprised to see that someone else here likes comic books (or that somehow, someone else besides him has heard of the Amazing Spider-Man!). I don't mean to be a miserable cynic — I'm glad that people can find those social connections, because it is both comforting, and important — I just find it odd. It's like going up to someone wearing a Red Sox t-shirt at a Red Sox game and saying "Oh hey man, you like Red Sox, too? I love the Red Sox!" Well yes of course you're at a fucking Red Sox game.

But I digress.

"Cool Shirt, Dude" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

May: Great Month, or Greatest Month?

I like May. Everyone's happier in May. We're all still a little fat from the winter, but when the sun finally shines on a beautiful weekend day, everyone appreciates it so much after the long, dark seasons. Everyone wants to look their best as they soak up the rays. By the time August rolls around -- sure, everyone's practically naked, but it's no longer sexy. It's just fucking hot. But in May, it's like magic; the first signs of skin exposed for all the sunny smiles to see. I'm sure there's a cynical metaphor about relationships somewhere in here as well. Anyway, here's my newest little piece on Five By Five Hundred:\

"Girls in Sundresses" on FiveByFiveHundred.com